I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
