I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
