Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
