I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
We don't watch enough power rangers
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize