Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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