Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
