and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
