new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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