oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
