How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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