Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
