i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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