I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
