Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
