Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize