sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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