Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
