Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
