And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
