Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize