your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
