i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
