did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize