Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize