i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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