We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I intend to get homeless drunk
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Randomize
