dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
