I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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