He is an equal opportunity slut.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
