hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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