why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
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