So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Drunk is a universal language darling
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
