She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
