All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
