oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
It's shark week go big or go home
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
