Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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