You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
