i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
