so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
