When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
