bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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