Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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