Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
