So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
