Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Moan for me like Helen Keller
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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