my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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