watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
