I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
