I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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