Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
