I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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