i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
