i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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