I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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