Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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