Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
