were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
