Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Randomize
