yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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