my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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