dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
