...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
