I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
