Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
