marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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