he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
