dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Welp...herpes.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
