just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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