When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize