you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
