no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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