Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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