well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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