there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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