she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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