Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
