But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
FUCK WHALES
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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