Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
