that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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