How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize